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YOU    KNOW    YOU'VE    BEEN    WATCHING    TOO    MUCH    LL    WHEN    .    .    .    .    !

Okay, you've been watching LL since it started, have you any idea how this may be affecting your mental and physical health!!! Not only do you strain with laughter, splitting your metaphorical sides, but your brain has to work over time on puns that don't work (not often but it does happen!) So, anyway, I have with help from Cake Shopping friends compiled a long, but adventurous list of drastic effects which may come upon you if you watch the show. And so it begins:

You dye your hair blonde in homage to Mel
Then you dye it purple in homage to Sue and then ginger
Then blonde again, to get that real Mel effect and then you just go back to your official roots!
Your pet goldfish are called Mel and Sue
You can give the exact date of the show by looking at the colour of
Mels roots - (Stu B)
When you sit down and eat you start asking your parents odd
questions - (Stu B)
Every 15 minutes you insist on saying 'see you in three'. And waiting
for the ad break - (Stu B)
Someone suggests an evening out one Wenesday and you slap them round the face as you've never been so insulted
You form a band, but oddly enough, you can't think what to name it
Lets face it you are addicted to the Cake Shop
You know Mel and Sue's home phone numbers
And addresses
And they've already moved, twice
You get vey irritated when someone mentions the Milennium Dome,
Those big platform trainers are forever christened as 'Sue's Shoes'
You wish that home econimics, would do a lesson on just how to prepare a
light lunch
The favourites list on your PC internet start up page consist of LL
related pages only
Peter Mandleson is referred to as *that scum sucking plum*
You turned on the tv inbetween programmes on Channel 4 to catch
the LL trailers
Someone mentions that you looked a little perky and you took it as
the biggest compliment of the day
You make a yearly pilgrimage to Leatherhead and Croydon
You make it your duty to remind others Mel G is not a Spice Girl
You gurn for a living
You flirt with yourself in the kitchen - Dan Earwicker
At work, you nose around other colleagues lunch boxes and try to
be witty - (Dan Earwicker)
Pedal pushers start to look like a good move., trouser-wise - (Dan Earwicker)
People begin to speculate your sexual orientation, on the basis of
your hair style - (Dan Earwicker)
Jean Christophe crosses the raod when he sees you approaching,
and when trapped in a room with you, he sits in the classic
'defensive' pose - (Dan Earwicker)
You found the 'Services to Public Moral Award' and hand it to Mel and Sue
But when Late Lunch goes off the air and Light Lunch stops
repeating, they know you're going to want it back
You try to think up a pun for every dish on any menu anywhere - Max
You try to think up a pun for every thing you ever read anywhere - Max
You have to go out and buy a set of magnetic letters so you can join in the fun by rearranging them every day (I actually did this) - Max (so did I, ed)
You constantly have to restrain yourself from saying "Good Jim", "Crashing on", making sarcastic comments when anyone called Dan says or does anything... you get the idea - Max
You can't remember the name of the band that recorded a song 'cos you keep thinking of the similar food-related name you saw on LL years ago - Max
When you run out of things to say you turn to your comedy partner to help you out - and then realise you don't have one. So you might create an imaginary one. And talk to him all the time. Possibly. - Max

To the LL start page!

If you have any you would like to add, mail me at
either of the above addresses: